The fact that we live in a largely post-Christian society now is no longer news. We are surrounded by a world that tells us we should only be out for ourselves, to always think of ourselves first. Along with these messages come the glorification of instant gratification and doing whatever we need to do to feel satisfied. It should therefore be no surprise that it is becoming more accepted and more expected that we will find our satisfaction from someone or something other than God. When we begin to think that maybe this way of living isn’t so bad, we must remember: the enemy will always push us toward the opposite of God’s intentions for us.
Before marriage, many of us struggle to obey God’s wish that we stay faithful to him and abstain from sexual temptation. This is a fact we all know well, whether we’re in a relationship or not. When we first fall in love, we want nothing more than to be one. Society surrounds us with temptation, voices trying to tell us, “it’s okay, give in to your desires.” It becomes hard to resist these temptations when we are not grounded in our faith or well educated on why God tells us to wait. As far as I could tell, God was telling us to wait for the sake of waiting, and that didn’t sit well with a younger me. However, what God tells us to love him with our whole hearts FIRST, and loving him with our whole hearts is exemplified in resisting temptation and waiting. When we look to sex for satisfaction or completion, it will never keep us satisfied. We have to know the love of God, because it is the only thing that will ever truly satisfy our hearts.
When we get married, we can be quick to believe that all of our problems are now solved. We can finally be one with our significant other, but it’s at this very time that we often begin to feel pushed apart. The enemy can begin to put doubt in our minds about our spouse, doing everything to create a rift between us and our spouses. So how can we fight this? By looking to God. The very reason we need should wait and love Him with our whole hearts first instead of seeking love through sexual satisfaction is because no earthly relationship will ever be perfect. God created sex so that we could feel as one with our spouse, not to wholly satisfy us. If we go into marriage expecting our love to be enough to sustain us through the difficult periods, we will end up sorely disappointed. The only love strong enough to sustain us and complete us is the love of God. We need to strengthen our relationship with him completely before we go looking for earthly love, because in those moments that our marriages feel broken we will need to lean on the love of God, and that requires knowing the love of God. Of course it is in those difficult times that sex will serve as a physical reminder that we are one together, but we also have to know God’s unconditional love in a way that allows us to fully trust him through the difficulties. Without that understanding of God’s love and wishes for us, it is all too easy for the enemy to creep into our heads and start telling us again to think only of ourselves and our own happiness - and marriages are failing because of it.
The enemy will always tell us to think of ourselves first - to protect our own interest at all costs - but if we do as we should as Christians we will think of God first. When we feel challenged, we will look to His Word for guidance. When we feel temptation, we will turn only to Him. We must ask Him for patience in the waiting, and faith in the midst of doubt. A firm relationship with God is the key to healthy individuals and healthy marriages that can overcome the pressures our modern society is putting on Christian lives.